The Prayer Journal

I've kept a journal since I was 7 years old, and reading my old entries has always made me laugh, cry, and remember things long forgotten. While re-organizing the bookshelves last Saturday I stumbled upon some old journals I wrote in, one of them being a prayer journal I kept when I was 14. As I read, I began laughing out loud at my boldness and raw honesty toward my Heavenly Father! Here are a few gems: "Please let Your will be done, but let what I want be done too. I mean - if that's Your will that my will and Your will be done...whatever. You know what I mean!" "It's about time another guy liked me, okay?" "I care about obeying You, but I don't feel blessed or anything for it!" "Do You realize what a hardship this is for me??" Oh man...I am sure there were times when God was laughing at His daughter, down here trying not to seem like I was controlling things too much but all the while unable to see how my way couldn't be the best way! It is SO encouraging to read back through the years and see how God has molded my heart and answered the prayers I quietly scribbled to Him in my bedroom. Yes, there was a time when I was more insecure and very controlling, but God still deemed me worthy of His love and grace, and has guided and protected my life even when my attitude was at its worst. He listened to the prayers of a selfish teenager, and as it turned out, His will was and is the best, He did have a wonderful man in store for me, I have been blessed for obeying Him, and He has ALWAYS known how to handle my "hardships". Though of course I still struggle, I trust Him so much more than I did years ago because I am confident of His love for me. I am overcome with gratitude that God called me to Him and has never let me wander far. He truly has shown Himself to be the "author and finisher of my faith"! (Hebrews 12:2)