Submitting

I struggle with submission - anyone with me on that?! My husband is a good, trustworthy, respectable man, but still my controlling streak comes out at times and makes me feel that I could lead the family better than he can. For the last 2 years, Phil and I have been having a harder time agreeing on things than we ever have before. My heart has wanted to submit and allow God to speak to Phil's heart, because in the past I have voiced what I wanted in a manipulating manner. I don't want to do that anymore - it's much better to allow God to give me what's best for me instead of behaving like a brat to get what I think I want! Besides, in regards to the things we were disagreeing on, I didn't know what the answers were, I only knew what would make me most happy right now. So I've just been praying. Just little things like, "God, do you want Phil to start a business? If not, just don't let it happen!" "God, is there a church for us here? Is there anything good here but the ocean? Could I please see it?" "God, show Phil what to do! If I know it's from you, I'll do anything!" Well, about 2 weeks ago I started to see some changes. Suddenly we agreed to start going to International House of Prayer East Bay. It's 2 hours away, but God is moving there, and the most important thing for me is that we AGREED on it!! =) Then today I felt God begin to push us in a direction, and I am so excited. And no, I don't know the direction entirely, but I do feel He is starting to do something we can see. This morning as I was thinking about Phil and praying for God's hand in his leadership of our family, God brought me a couple verses that I encouraged Phil with. They are from David to the king, and since our husbands are the kings of our homes, I think it's fitting. Psalm 45:2 - 5 "You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever. Gird your sword upon your side, O mighty one; clothe yourself with splendor and majesty. In your majesty ride forth victoriously in behalf of truth, humility, and righteousness; let your right hand display awesome deeds." I began to pray truth, humilily and righteousness over his thoughts, ideas, plans, and dealings with others. It was so powerful - I encourage you all to pray truth, humility and righteousness over your husbands!! We went to a new church this morning which we heard about a couple of weeks ago. It was the best we've been to in 2 years of searching, and we have been talking about the pastor's message all day. This afternoon Phil felt peace about where God is leading us and we made a couple of important decisions. We looked at an office space for Phil and decided that God doesn't have that for us right now. For now, God has closed the door for us to start a church ministry on our own, and He wants us to pursue a relationship with Him and begin relationships with others at this new church, Mosaic. Strange, because we were sure God had something different for us. But apparently He doesn't. Phil has peace about it, and so I do too, because I can trust the leading of a man who has been playing worship songs on his guitar and singing his heart out for the last half hour. =)