The Prayer Journal

I've kept a journal since I was 7 years old, and reading my old entries has always made me laugh, cry, and remember things long forgotten. While re-organizing the bookshelves last Saturday I stumbled upon some old journals I wrote in, one of them being a prayer journal I kept when I was 14. As I read, I began laughing out loud at my boldness and raw honesty toward my Heavenly Father! Here are a few gems: "Please let Your will be done, but let what I want be done too. I mean - if that's Your will that my will and Your will be done...whatever. You know what I mean!" "It's about time another guy liked me, okay?" "I care about obeying You, but I don't feel blessed or anything for it!" "Do You realize what a hardship this is for me??" Oh man...I am sure there were times when God was laughing at His daughter, down here trying not to seem like I was controlling things too much but all the while unable to see how my way couldn't be the best way! It is SO encouraging to read back through the years and see how God has molded my heart and answered the prayers I quietly scribbled to Him in my bedroom. Yes, there was a time when I was more insecure and very controlling, but God still deemed me worthy of His love and grace, and has guided and protected my life even when my attitude was at its worst. He listened to the prayers of a selfish teenager, and as it turned out, His will was and is the best, He did have a wonderful man in store for me, I have been blessed for obeying Him, and He has ALWAYS known how to handle my "hardships". Though of course I still struggle, I trust Him so much more than I did years ago because I am confident of His love for me. I am overcome with gratitude that God called me to Him and has never let me wander far. He truly has shown Himself to be the "author and finisher of my faith"! (Hebrews 12:2)

Gotta Love a Good Snack

I bake once or twice a week and thought I'd share this new recipe I found for Applesauce bread. It is truly amazing!! We have some growing and very hungry little girls, and baking breads and muffins is a very economical and nutritious way to have plenty of snacks available for them! (Okay, yeah, I like snacks available for myself too!!) I changed a few things about the recipe - I used 1 cup of flour, 1/2 cup of oatmeal and 1/2 cup of whole wheat flour, and I left out the nuts. Fantastic! Enjoy! =)

In Praise of NPR!

My husband is an NPR geek - he listens to it everyday to and from work. I've poked fun at him for a long time, impersonating the newscasters' monotone voices and dull announcements. Listening to NPR always makes me think of that Saturday Night Live sketch Delicious Dish, with Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer. "Good times, good times..." All things considered, NPR just doesn't hold my attention very well. That is, until I discovered The Writer's Almanac, which is on from approximately 9:01 - 9:06 am. Now this is some quality programming! I love the daily dose of culture I receive when Garrison Keillor reads the poem of the day, along with other news and notes of various artistic people. Just as I need my daily time with the Lord, I find it is a breath of fresh air for me as a writer to listen to or read good writing each day. The Writer's Almanac is a fun way to do that! Tune in and let me know what you think, and in the meantime, "Be well, do good work, and keep in touch!"

What Are You?

I have never understood self-esteem - it's always eluded me why we should all just "feel good" about ourselves. I know the truth - that God really does want me to feel good about who I am because He made me and loves me, but still, I have always needed reasons why I should feel good about who I am. When my husband and I first got married, I would often ask him, for fun, why he loved me. He would say, "Because I said I would! I love you!" I would think it was sweet, but feel frustrated at the same time. Only within the last few years have we understood that the root of my frustration was that I needed reasons for why he felt love for me. What had I done that day that made him feel that he loved me? I have a much better sense of self-worth than self-esteem, and once I realized that that goes with my personality (I'm a Gold/Orange according to True Colors, introduced to me by my mother-in-law!) I've been much more able to accept that. So, that said, yesterday I finished a poem I've been working on for several days. I e-mailed it to my husband, and he wrote back a few words that were so precious to me. He wrote, "You are a poet!" I will definitely be re-reading that little line from him when I have doubts about my capabilities as a writer. I think sometimes we need people around us to say, "You are _____!" I know I do, and I'm wondering - what are you? What positive thing has some one said about you that changed how you thought of yourself?