You May Be Homeschooled If...

I was homeschooled every year but 8th grade, which was sometimes difficult because of the stigma homeschooling carried back then. On a ski trip when I was about 14, my best friend and I were asked by the ski instructor what school we attended. We told him we were homeschooled, and he proceeded to tell the rest of the class very matter-off-factly that homeschooling is for children who were behind or had been abused! Yikes! Finally, in my adult life, I've ceased to be embarrassed about the fact that I was homeschooled and have begun to be okay with it, even proud. Now I know what a great and interesting education I received, and I now I hear other moms saying, "Oh, wow, I wish I had been - I'm going to homeschool my kids!" Turns out homeschooling isn't just for weirdos anymore. There were times as a kid that I loathed being homeschooled. I mean, the humiliation of being different is just too much to bear when you're 12 years old and wanting to just blend in! Instead, we'd go to the grocery store at 11am and the clerk would innocently ask, "Hey there kids, school holiday?" Before I could mumble a quick, "Oh, um, just got out early!" Mom would answer loudly enough for the whole store to hear, "WE HOMESCHOOL!!!!" At least it seemed that way. It seemed like she might as well have grabbed the little microphone they use to announce the sale at the deli or "5 minutes till closing" and declared to the entire store over the PA that I was, indeed, an oddball. *Sigh* But I really wasn't bitter. Just a bit embarrassed. I grew up with it, and I didn't know just how different my school experience actually was until I became an adult! Things just keep coming up. For instance, I still have no idea what a public school cafeteria looks like. I don't understand going to school with 400 + other kids...of your exact same age. I was recently overwhelmed with disgust when we attended a church held at a high school and I used the women's bathroom - horrific! And the graffiti! I can't imagine what it must be like to have to use a facility like that every day! (I became quite convinced that if we respected those kids enough to give them a decent bathroom, they just might respect themselves a bit more and problems with poor grades and drugs and violence might improve...I wish I could test that theory somehow. ) And language - this is a funny one. Occasionally, even still, a slang word or phrase will be on TV or something, and I'll have to ask my husband what it means because I have no idea. Usually it's not something that benefited him to have learned in high school, and it's just another indication that I was homeschooled and didn't have to listen to garbage all day from my peers! Yes, I suppose I was "sheltered" a bit if you will, but only from junk that no kid needs to be exposed to. I was given all kinds of opportunities to dive into things I loved - writing, singing, and dancing, for example, and able to spend more time studying certain areas of science that I was fascinated by, like natural disasters and weather. I went on field trips several times a month, and Mom could fit learning into experiences that I found purely fun. And, oh yeah, I did have friends. That was the question EVERYONE loved to ask. ( "You're homeschooled? So, like, how do you socialize?") Youth group, various classes I took, homeschool functions, 4-H...yes, I was around many people and made many friends! Some of my best friends are ones I've known since I was in elementary school, and we grew up homeschooling together. Since homeschooling will probably never be mainstream, there will certainly always be jokes around it, but who cares? I kinda like the fact that if I don't "get" something most people picked up from their peers in high school I can smile and say, "Sorry, I was homeschooled!" Always gets a laugh out of people. ;)
You May Be a Homeschooler If...
1. You have only a few classmates, and they all have your same last name.
2. Part of your school work is to help with yard work and learn how to build a shed with Dad on Saturday.
3. You have a choice of 5 guys to have a crush on - they're the only ones you know who are the same age as you.
4. The word "homework" doesn't make any sense to you.
5. Your teacher can ground you for not finishing your math in a timely fashion.

I Love America!

Why does it seems somewhat cheesy to be openly patriotic? After 9/11, American flag t-shirts were worn by everyone and people flew flags all over the place. Then after awhile people didn't like the war or Bush anymore, and we stopped flying flags and starting getting cynical. Enter Obama, and now tons of people once again have "hope". This is just crazy to me - it's been the same American all along! Regardless of what political party you associate yourself with or how you feel about the way American is going, we still live in an amazing country of which we can all be proud. 4th of July is right around the corner, and I anticipate tears once again flowing down my face as I hear the national anthem and watch the fireworks. I refuse to complain, put down President Obama, or point out ways "things just aren't like they used to be!". Things do change. God told us they would. I am on the look out for ways He tells me to speak out and to do what I can to uphold the values important to both He and I, and while I am looking for those things I will also continue to notice the things everywhere that make American beautiful to me - churches and businesses of all kinds, people of all races going about their days doing things they need and want to do, things that brings them fulfillment. These are things we take for granted, the freedoms most important and unique to America, and they have remained no matter who was president. When my daughters ask if they can be a certain profession, which they do often, I am overjoyed everytime to tell them that they can do whatever God calls them to do. I LOVE this country, and I'm not going let myself feel cheesy for saying it!!! =)

Help for Jumbled Jewelry!

These are some things I made a few days ago, and I just had to share them! I don't know about you, but jewelry organization has always eluded me. Jewelry boxes just scramble everything up, and besides that, I have so much jewelry that it got to the point that I had 3 or 4 jewelry receptacles of various kinds that didn't match, and it drove me crazy even looking at them. One day I came across an article in Real Simple magazine (one of my faves) that explained how to turn your jewelry into a work of art. I took that idea and modified it a bit, and this is what I came up with. I love the frame shown on the left, but the glass in it recently broke, so I was planning to just Goodwill it. Instead, I picked up a large roll of cork material at Beverly Fabrics for $5.99. I cut two pieces that would fit inside the frame, glued them together with Tacky Glue to create a cork mat about 1/4 inch thick, then covered the cork with blue silk fabric I already had in my craft stash. I put that inside the frame and then hung it on the bedroom wall like a picture. I picked up a box of pretty, plain, silver straight pins from Beverly's ($2.99) and used those to hang my necklaces. I still had a lot of jewelry left to organize, so I bought another roll of cork and did the same thing with the larger matted black frame, using 1/2 yard of a cotton fabric I bought at Beverly's for about $2. Then, I decided to experiment with something that could also contain my earrings. All I did for that one was to cut a piece of white cross-stitching fabric and glue it inside of a 5x7 frame, then loop the earrings through the holes in the fabric. These were super easy projects, and I love that my necklaces and earrings are showcased as art pieces! I hung them in a cluster next to our dresser, and even my husband loves the way it looks! Let me know if any of you try this - I hope you find it to be as fun and beautiful as I do. =)

My Glorious Reality of Late

I've been away awhile - sorry about that! I guess you could say I was just dealing with some things. There are seasons in my life when I feel I am "inside myself" and have no desire to do the things that ordinarily are more enjoyable to me than most other things; namely, writing and singing. The past few weeks I haven't been doing any of either. However, last night Phil led us on the guitar in Come Thou Fount, and I found my voice again. Today I'm blogging, and it feels good to feel like me. What have I been dealing with, you ask? *Sigh* You had to ask, didn't you? First, it was the age-old (not really, but it feels like it) dilemma of the role of church and God in our lives right now. It's gotten to the point where (and this is Glorious Reality that I'm sharing with you, okay??) both Phil and I have begun to really question where God is, whether He even sees us, and why we want to follow a God who has made us look for Him so long and so hard. Yes, it's been bad. I've shed a lot of tears, and Phil has had a lot of melancholy days (cuz he's not really a crier so much). I wish that I could read the Bible and pray by myself and have that just be enough, but it isn't. Phil and I long for the connection with others that used to make us feel alive, that constantly reminded us of incredible things God is doing in people's lives. We are attending a new church that we want badly to be excited about, but living here 2 years and trying out at least 12 churches has caused us to have a pretty jaded view. Yucky, but the way it is. We've gotten to know the pastor and his wife and they seem fantastic, but again, we've held it all with an open hand. All this, coupled with my PMDD symptoms, has caused me to become rather self-centered. I admitted to Phil that I was getting pretty tired of thinking about myself, how I'm feeling, all the time. And physically I didn't feel right - why was I so bloated even though I'd been working out?! And nauseous too?! What's going on? Woah, wait... Yep. Turns out I'M PREGNANT! And self-centered me had the audacity to cry about it for a few minutes. Phil couldn't have been happier, so pretty soon I was happy too, and now, 2 1/2 weeks later, I can't believe the change that has happened in us. A baby is such a miracle, and I think that this pregnancy has done a lot to soften my heart toward God again. Tonight the pastor from the new church called Phil, wanting to talk to him about the possibilty of beginning weekly testimonies like the ones we told him about that our church in Roseville does. We are really excited about sharing our past and hearing how God has transformed others! Phil and I have come to a new realization that although we can't fully understand God, we can accept and embrace the basics - He made us, He loves us, He gives us good gifts. We have 3 and one on the way!

Proverbs 14:1

I am so burdened today over the recent turn of events in the Gosselin family of TLC's John and Kate + 8. As Phil scanned the groceries in the self check-out yesterday, I managed to keep the kids from getting us kicked out of Safeway while simultaneously reading an article in People about what Kate is going through. It was tragic. Tragic that a woman could list everything she had done right over the years, and nothing that she wished she had done differently. Tragic that their children have had to listen to their mom's sarcastic and demeaning words toward their Daddy for all these years, in their house, in public, and broadcast on cable television. And of course, tragic that now Jon has not been the faithful, honorable man he was supossed to be. Well gee, when a man doesn't quite feel like a man in his own home, he wouldn't want to be there so much, now would he? Let's not be stupid and say that Jon made the only error in this situation. Dr. Laura probably has a lot to say about this, and it's not that Kate's organic cooking should have been enough to keep Jon home. It's all about respect, which Jon wasn't getting. Proverbs says it well: "A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands." Our own hands! That is the power that we as wives have! It is time that we stop blaming men for not being men, and instead do our part better than we have. Is there anything you can say today to affirm your husband? Hasn't he done anything today worthy of your respect? Did he go to work? Take out the trash? Read to or play with the kids? Pray that God shows you something you can do or say to build up the man God gave you, and see what happens. No goodwilled man (and most are!!) will abandon his home is he feels respected there. And no, it's not about you turning into a doormat and elevating him to superior status. Reject that feminist thinking! We are ALL equally valuable. However, when we begin meeting our husband's needs for respect, they will natually show us the love that we crave. It's a win-win, and that's the way it should be, am I right?? Let's pray that Jon and Kate will take the time for their family in these next days, that they will leave stardom behind and do everything it takes to repair their marriage, and that there won't be another 8 children ripped apart by a sadly broken family.

Mother's Day

This is a picture of my mom and me, taken last Sunday. She and my dad came down from Sacramento and spent a very fun weekend with us here in Monterey. I just have to use this opportunity to list a few things I will forever be grateful for about my mom!!
1. She has been a loving and supportive wife to my dad, giving me a strong foundation and a great example.
2. She home-schooled me every year but 8th grade, even when she probably reeeeeally didn't want to. (We'll put it this way: I wasn't the most excited student all the time. ;))
3. She began each day with prayer and worship, sometimes playing guitar and sometimes playing piano. She didn't know at the time what an impact that had on me.
4. She was never too busy to listen to me or to share things that were on her heart.
5. She shared current and past struggles she dealt with, modeling transparency and giving me the opportunity to really know who she was.
6. She trained me using a lot of Proverbs, which helped me to see that what she expected of me was also God's best for me.
7. If I was down, sometimes she would put a bit of lipstick and blush on me. Amazing how looking good helps you feel better! =)
8. Her energy is contagious and often helped me get interested in things I wouldn't have been otherwise!
So there it is, just a few things off the top of my head about my amazing mom who loves me in a way that no one else on earth does. (And I know that now because I have 3 girls of my own! =))

Buy a Hat, Save a Life!

Krochet Kids is an amazing non-profit organization that is helping Ugandan women learn to support themselves and their families by crocheting hats that are then sold here in the states. This organization is especially dear to my heart because my brother and very close friend, Nic Lauten, has played a big role in making Krochet Kids what it is. He spent 11 months in Uganda getting to know the women in the organization, loving the African people, and just sitting and crocheting with them. I personally am in love with my pink Krochet Kids beanie, and when I wear it, I can't help but wonder about the precious sister somewhere across the world who made it for me. If you all wouldn't mind, would you please take a few minutes today and check out krochetkids.org? If you're anything like me, you'll be brought to tears as you read the vision and the stories of the women involved. And hey, if you can, buy a hat, because they are pretty awesome!! =)

Should I do something about this??

A favorite quote from my day: "Mom!! Your hair looks just like Barack Obama's hair!!!" - Gabby Hignight, 3 years old

Submitting

I struggle with submission - anyone with me on that?! My husband is a good, trustworthy, respectable man, but still my controlling streak comes out at times and makes me feel that I could lead the family better than he can. For the last 2 years, Phil and I have been having a harder time agreeing on things than we ever have before. My heart has wanted to submit and allow God to speak to Phil's heart, because in the past I have voiced what I wanted in a manipulating manner. I don't want to do that anymore - it's much better to allow God to give me what's best for me instead of behaving like a brat to get what I think I want! Besides, in regards to the things we were disagreeing on, I didn't know what the answers were, I only knew what would make me most happy right now. So I've just been praying. Just little things like, "God, do you want Phil to start a business? If not, just don't let it happen!" "God, is there a church for us here? Is there anything good here but the ocean? Could I please see it?" "God, show Phil what to do! If I know it's from you, I'll do anything!" Well, about 2 weeks ago I started to see some changes. Suddenly we agreed to start going to International House of Prayer East Bay. It's 2 hours away, but God is moving there, and the most important thing for me is that we AGREED on it!! =) Then today I felt God begin to push us in a direction, and I am so excited. And no, I don't know the direction entirely, but I do feel He is starting to do something we can see. This morning as I was thinking about Phil and praying for God's hand in his leadership of our family, God brought me a couple verses that I encouraged Phil with. They are from David to the king, and since our husbands are the kings of our homes, I think it's fitting. Psalm 45:2 - 5 "You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever. Gird your sword upon your side, O mighty one; clothe yourself with splendor and majesty. In your majesty ride forth victoriously in behalf of truth, humility, and righteousness; let your right hand display awesome deeds." I began to pray truth, humilily and righteousness over his thoughts, ideas, plans, and dealings with others. It was so powerful - I encourage you all to pray truth, humility and righteousness over your husbands!! We went to a new church this morning which we heard about a couple of weeks ago. It was the best we've been to in 2 years of searching, and we have been talking about the pastor's message all day. This afternoon Phil felt peace about where God is leading us and we made a couple of important decisions. We looked at an office space for Phil and decided that God doesn't have that for us right now. For now, God has closed the door for us to start a church ministry on our own, and He wants us to pursue a relationship with Him and begin relationships with others at this new church, Mosaic. Strange, because we were sure God had something different for us. But apparently He doesn't. Phil has peace about it, and so I do too, because I can trust the leading of a man who has been playing worship songs on his guitar and singing his heart out for the last half hour. =)

Smells Like Peaches

Question: Other than being foods, what do peas, peaches, rice, green beans, and bananas all have in common? Answer: I have been sprayed with all of them at least once during the past week. *Sigh* And I thought we weren't going to have this problem this time. After all, my daughter is 8 1/2 months and she hadn't blown Beechnut once before last week. But now it's a different story, and so with every bite I duck my head and hold my breath and hope that if I judged correctly, the mouthful will land on her sister instead of me. Yes, of course I am trying to encourage her not to spit, but while she is learning I am resolved to the possibility of a couple of extra showers each day. However, regarding this, I believe I have gained some insight that could benefit thousands. Here's the story: Yesterday I wore a black shirt, and then it hit me. Peaches. And also, an epiphany. Although an entire infant-sized mouthful had been vaporized in my general direction, the unknowing husband would never be able to see it against the black fabric! As if that wasn't enough, my senses took me one step further - peaches smell amazing!! So here's my final question: If a mother was sprayed with peaches in the kitchen and no one could see it, would she still need body spray? Hmmmm...

Ode to my Washer and Dryer

Washer and dryer
you wiggle and shake,
make the ground wobble,
make the couch quake.
You thump so loudly
that whenever we speak
we have to yell louder
than you, you big freak.
You've moved several inches
away from the wall
and I'd shove you on back
but I'm a little too small.
So for now I'll just deal
with your moving and shaking
and loudness and lewdness
and jumping and quaking
and be grateful I have you,
oh wash set, my friends,
for who knows when fate
has me coin-laundering again.

The Prayer Journal

I've kept a journal since I was 7 years old, and reading my old entries has always made me laugh, cry, and remember things long forgotten. While re-organizing the bookshelves last Saturday I stumbled upon some old journals I wrote in, one of them being a prayer journal I kept when I was 14. As I read, I began laughing out loud at my boldness and raw honesty toward my Heavenly Father! Here are a few gems: "Please let Your will be done, but let what I want be done too. I mean - if that's Your will that my will and Your will be done...whatever. You know what I mean!" "It's about time another guy liked me, okay?" "I care about obeying You, but I don't feel blessed or anything for it!" "Do You realize what a hardship this is for me??" Oh man...I am sure there were times when God was laughing at His daughter, down here trying not to seem like I was controlling things too much but all the while unable to see how my way couldn't be the best way! It is SO encouraging to read back through the years and see how God has molded my heart and answered the prayers I quietly scribbled to Him in my bedroom. Yes, there was a time when I was more insecure and very controlling, but God still deemed me worthy of His love and grace, and has guided and protected my life even when my attitude was at its worst. He listened to the prayers of a selfish teenager, and as it turned out, His will was and is the best, He did have a wonderful man in store for me, I have been blessed for obeying Him, and He has ALWAYS known how to handle my "hardships". Though of course I still struggle, I trust Him so much more than I did years ago because I am confident of His love for me. I am overcome with gratitude that God called me to Him and has never let me wander far. He truly has shown Himself to be the "author and finisher of my faith"! (Hebrews 12:2)

Gotta Love a Good Snack

I bake once or twice a week and thought I'd share this new recipe I found for Applesauce bread. It is truly amazing!! We have some growing and very hungry little girls, and baking breads and muffins is a very economical and nutritious way to have plenty of snacks available for them! (Okay, yeah, I like snacks available for myself too!!) I changed a few things about the recipe - I used 1 cup of flour, 1/2 cup of oatmeal and 1/2 cup of whole wheat flour, and I left out the nuts. Fantastic! Enjoy! =)

In Praise of NPR!

My husband is an NPR geek - he listens to it everyday to and from work. I've poked fun at him for a long time, impersonating the newscasters' monotone voices and dull announcements. Listening to NPR always makes me think of that Saturday Night Live sketch Delicious Dish, with Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer. "Good times, good times..." All things considered, NPR just doesn't hold my attention very well. That is, until I discovered The Writer's Almanac, which is on from approximately 9:01 - 9:06 am. Now this is some quality programming! I love the daily dose of culture I receive when Garrison Keillor reads the poem of the day, along with other news and notes of various artistic people. Just as I need my daily time with the Lord, I find it is a breath of fresh air for me as a writer to listen to or read good writing each day. The Writer's Almanac is a fun way to do that! Tune in and let me know what you think, and in the meantime, "Be well, do good work, and keep in touch!"

What Are You?

I have never understood self-esteem - it's always eluded me why we should all just "feel good" about ourselves. I know the truth - that God really does want me to feel good about who I am because He made me and loves me, but still, I have always needed reasons why I should feel good about who I am. When my husband and I first got married, I would often ask him, for fun, why he loved me. He would say, "Because I said I would! I love you!" I would think it was sweet, but feel frustrated at the same time. Only within the last few years have we understood that the root of my frustration was that I needed reasons for why he felt love for me. What had I done that day that made him feel that he loved me? I have a much better sense of self-worth than self-esteem, and once I realized that that goes with my personality (I'm a Gold/Orange according to True Colors, introduced to me by my mother-in-law!) I've been much more able to accept that. So, that said, yesterday I finished a poem I've been working on for several days. I e-mailed it to my husband, and he wrote back a few words that were so precious to me. He wrote, "You are a poet!" I will definitely be re-reading that little line from him when I have doubts about my capabilities as a writer. I think sometimes we need people around us to say, "You are _____!" I know I do, and I'm wondering - what are you? What positive thing has some one said about you that changed how you thought of yourself?

New and Exciting

Today as I was driving down the road this morning, lovely ocean view to my left, I realized I was feeling bored. That of course was accompanied by guilt - after all, I did have the afore mentioned lovely ocean view. But I did feel bored, and immediately linked it to discontentment. Two years ago when I found out we were moving here, you would have thought I'd won three million dollars, I was so overjoyed. I fell on my knees and sobbed with joy - seriously. But by now the excitement has worn off. The drudgery of life sometimes gets to me, and I want something different. Today though, I chided myself for not being just plain grateful for my life exactly the way it is. This life, what I have now, is what I ALWAYS dreamed of. I never longed for anything more than a husband and kids, and being a homemaker. When I thought of it that way, I was filled with contentment for what I have, and it felt wonderful! What a joy to be my husband's support through all the ups, downs, and pay cuts at work right now. What a joy to be a stable at-home Mommy to my girls. So with that joy, I took the kids to the park first thing this morning, which was fun because it's not something we do every morning. There was an older man there with his grand-daughter. He informed me that his family was on their way back to Omaha - they were here for the AT&T golf tournament, where they hung out with Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beal. I think God must have been chuckling to give my day that interesting dimension. Isn't He funny like that? ;)

Only on the California Coast...

I just couldn't resist taking a picture of this VW van. I would say at least 80% of vehicles driven here in Monterey are embellished with Obama bumper stickers, along with the ever popular "coexist" and "I'm already against the next war!" stickers, but this spray paint just really took the cake. I mean, what if she changes her mind? Sounds expensive. Anyway...

Existence is Bliss

I was in Target the other day when I was struck by the sensation similar to the one you might get when you have a cold - I wasn't all there. It was as if I was watching myself but not involved in what I was doing, and when my daughter asked if she could have a pair of Hello Kitty shoes, my answer felt like some one else's. I know what you're thinking, but no, I hadn't even had a Tylenol that day. I wondered why I was feeling so odd, but I only wondered for a second. The fact was, for days I hadn't spoken to a soul other than my children and my husband for a little while when he came home at night. One can only speak of WordGirl, Goldfish crackers and imaginary scenarios for so long before they just start to crack up. I am sorry to admit that many a day goes by when I do not change my shirt even though by noon it is spattered with all manner of baby excrements, because I know that I am not going anywhere anyway. Except maybe to Target, in which I see many mothers not unlike myself, and we smile wearily as we pass each other and regard our matching carts laden with diapers, tiny clothing, bread, fabric softener, and Hello Kitty shoes. I am beginning to recognize their vans when I pull into the Target parking lot. "Oh, dark blue Caravan with the flip-flop stickers on the back window is here again," I think, and it is some how comforting. The feeling of out-of-body-ness I get is due, I believe, to the sad truth that for some time, no one has known that I exist. In an attempt at self-actualization, I make plans to leave the house quite often, and I really do leave...about 20% of the time. My baby has timed her regularity such that right as we're leaving, after the other two girls have their shoes on, hair brushed, sweaters on and are standing by the door, she explodes through her diaper and two layers of clothing and all over the bouncer. I'm not kidding you, every time. And it always takes longer than I think it will to clean up a mess like that. So, many times I don't go. I say, "Forget it you guys! This is ridiculous!" and I put on WordGirl and remain anonymous. Other days, I go ahead and leave, even though it's now lunchtime. I pack everybody into the car and say, "Darnit, we're leaving! And you better believe we're going to have a good freakin' time!" (Okay, I don't actually say that.) I drive to the library, the park, anywhere there are moms and kids, and say something to somebody...and suddenly I am. And another person knew that I was. And who knows? Maybe I helped make them exist too.

Choosing to Live With Contentment!

To resolve.

To schedule in disappointment.

But in pencil, please,

because I think I plan to cancel my resolve entirely.

The only resolve I have is to stop resolving that I can do anything on my own.

And why January?

April, truly, would work fine.

It makes no difference.

If I must “resolve”, it would only be

to choose that which is beneficial

and not what seems obligatory.

To choose to follow peace

and not expectation.

To choose to let go of myself

and to hold the hand that is bigger than mine.

To finally ride to roller coaster,

and laugh my head off.

I am not a maker of resolutions. I mean, it’s just silly. If you’re going to do something, do it. Does it matter if you start in August? But that’s me, and regardless of the fact that it’s January, I have decided to do something; to change in a certain area. It just so happens that today I got sick and tired of a habit I’ve developed and I’d very much like to have done with it. It’s a little something called discontentment. Today a friend commented on how much she likes my kitchen, and do you know what I said? “Oh, I don’t like my cabinets.” What is that? In my mind there is a house that I think I would be completely happy living in. My actual house doesn’t look like that, so subconsciously I've given myself permission to dismiss any ideas that it’s a great place to live. I am sad and sorry that I’ve done this, and I’m also really embarrassed. I have been around people who are very contented, and I have been with people who can’t wait to acquire more and better stuff, and I don’t have to tell you which is more enjoyable. Today (about 15 minutes ago actually) I was finally able to think clearly about my attitude and feel sickened enough to want to do something about it. So here's what I've decided: I have a great house, and I am going to express gratitude for it instead of being negative. There is nothing even close to a guarantee that I will ever have the house that’s in my head. For all I know, it does not exist in my future. I don’t want to have an attitude that I am entitled to anything, ever. Not only does it make me feel terribly unhappy, but I realized that it also snubs what my Abba gave me, and He says it’s the perfect gift for me. Today I was blown away by the revelation that He picked out my house for me! He set it aside and said, “This is for my girl. It is the best thing for her!” I never again want to see faults in His plans for my life. He gets to choose, not me. 1 Tomothy 6:6 - 8 “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”

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